hey you.

damn suck a long time. i have so much to fill you in on.. first of all ñaña my sister is here. she lives with Carmen and Carmen came down to visit and ñaña met her dad for the first time. Since we have spring break ñañas father offered her to pay the ticket if she stayed longer. so bitch ass Carmen went home. Thank god lmao cuz the utha day we almost faught errbody knows i would have killed her.

nah but me and Patrick are ok to fill you in on me and him..well were ok i guess sometimes.i love him with all my heart honestly i do but sometimes i just dont know what to do. we fight liike were fucking married. he says he cant deal with me. but he stays. idk weve been through so many ups and downs and were still here for each other. i know he loves me because he could have been left. he went to Florida not too long ago to meet his mom for the first time. and they want him to move with him. over there he will have a car. anything, and everything he ever wanted. but he chooses to stay he doesnt want to leave me. ME<--- im going through some shit over here, i mean it hurts because i feel a burden..the other day titi mari told me i had till the end of June to shape up..i really didnt understand what that meant..she said that no one in this house gets along with me, thats because me and Muñeca werent talking, we dont get along most of the time we fight all the time.so im just like fuck it i dont talk to her not to hear her mouth and she goes ahead and tells titi.. Me and Bjay dont talk because hes a grimy ass nigga..something happend some incident in which i really cant imply here on the computer, but we stop talking because he was talking mad shit about behind my back saying he cant stand me. FUCK HIM he aint nobody either. Manny on the other hand hes 2 faced.<--pretty self explantatory.so im trying not to be stressed because when im stressed i have seizures so i try to calm down. and not stoop my self to these fucks level...overall im in love. and i dont want anything to get in the way of me and him. i feel bad because yes i admit ive told people that i loved them when really i didnt. im in so deep right now. if he leaves me ill die.

Yesterday we went to Oswego. Muñeca got acceped to Oswego University, and she had to go for orientation, so i went to just so i didnt have to stya here with Bjay ughh..nah but we went and i srprised everyone when i saw feesh I cryed. OMG and when i had to leave her i cryed so bad too. the whole night too. she cryed too. Ryan tryed to kiss me i felt bad because he wouldnt let me and i pulled away hard. i cant kiss him i love Patrick. and besides id never do that to my baby.i saw Amber,Sam,Sydney, Feesh and Ryan i miss them like crazy..lolz ill never forget my oswegonainas i wanted to see Neicy but im mad at her and plus she was in Sodis in her Family store..

                           Later, Ray&hearts;

hey you..

 well i know last night i left in a pissy ass mood cuz im really sick of everything and everyone i cant deal with shit like use to i mean every bad thing dat goes i resort to crying and i was never like that..yesterday was the worst day ever becaus etell me how my couch threatend to kick me off tha team becaus ei failed gym the only reason i failed gym was because you know how i was knew and all well i didnt get my clothes for a long ass time cuz it was mad expensive so i missed mad days of gym "unprepared" well yeah i got a a55 in his class and you know how track is my life so when she told me this i went straight to his office and asked if i could make them up on the weekends feel me he was like nah imma give you a 65 (in which is passin) and i was like thank the good lord! omg i love you! but he said i gotta maintain that grade or higher it or im deff off the team..

Patrick Julio Montero

         my love<3

why did it have to happen to me?

why does it run through my head every day ?..scene by scene?

did i mess up that it had to happen to me?

was this a sign?

questionsss....just answer me why?

why?

i miss my dad so damn much i mean i know he wants nothing to do with me and i cant help it..but as much as he may hate me i cant hate him because of him im here breathing..i know he fucked up doing what he did but damn i cant hate him..i dont hate no one as much as i may dislike someone i dont hate them because hate is a very strong word and it takes alot to hate them..I Love You Ismael Santiago god bless you..

me and Patrick made a month on Friday and weve been having problems..i mean like OD problems for no damn reason..first of all my sister wow so damn shit i cant even explain it im so damn mad..

imma get at you later..

damn i always start to write in this and i never finish..life has change drastically for me...i miss Oswego bad...kinda hard to believe coming from me right? i cant explain wat i would do to have my friends here wit me especially Felicia<3 i mean she was my best firned over there in Oswego and she still is no matter how far away we are and evern if she doesnt know it she was always be my Best friend ever..

I miss you so much Felicia Marie Fetterley..

your like a sister to me..

the only true friend that ive ever had..

dont forget about me..

moving on before Feesh makes me cry..lol

Patrick Julio Montero<3

wow veryyyyyyyyy long time since ive written in this!!..

i missssssssssssss you alll!!

Ryan wow i think im actually getting even closer to you now that we are so far away from each other..I Love You dont ever forget that

life in the Bronx has been hard but im making it adjusting to its aight jus mad bitches dat are fake..

Felicia<3

Sydney<3

Shammie<3

Ashley Weaver<3

Denisses<3

Amber<3

I Love You all and i miss you like crazy!

Ryan Matthew<3!